Proposal Jitters

I submitted a book proposal to an editor yesterday for a women's devotional book I am writing.

Although I have submitted proposals for a children's picture book, this submission affected me differently. After I attached the Word document to the email, I found it hard to compose the actual message. Initially, I reverted to ultra-professional sounding terminology, which sounded boring and really didn't reflect my warm, bubbly personality.

After all the time I had invested in the book so far, wrestling to find direction and to clearly express the thoughts of my heart, why would this short message prove so difficult?

I think, maybe, there is more at stake for me in this submission. Not only do the devotions come from my heart, they are a part of my very identity. Each one represents an instance in my life where God met me and drew me closer to Him, or opened my eyes to see Him more clearly. My heart and my life lay open upon the pages, to be accepted or rejected as the case may be.

What if the editor doesn't like it? Will it crush my heart? The idea came to together specifically with this publishing company in mind. I respect the values and the vision they are founded upon.

And yet, I know that the Lord is faithful. Whatever motivated the idea to take shape within my heart, it is His message through me. He will open the doors that He chooses. This could just be one step upon the path that helps to shape this book and my writing journey into the form He desires.

And so, Lord, here I am. Your maidservant. May it be unto me according to your will.